Intimacy in the bedroom is something we all look forward to. Unfortunately, more than half of Americans deal with bad backs and pain on the daily. When you have physical aches and pains shooting down your back, it can feel like the agony is never-ending. And while it might be tempting to distract yourself with some playful friskiness, sex can often make a bad back worse. Lucky for us, there are several positions to help ease or at least minimize that pain for the best sex position, for people with bad backs.
We’ll also discuss some useful accessories and coping mechanisms to decompress achy backs and take the pressure off when you’re in the act.
For both the giver and receiver, this sex position should be comfortable if you suffer from bad backs. If coming down to your elbow feels too intense, support yourself with your hands instead, pressing down into all your fingers equally so your wrist doesn’t take all the pressure. If you’ve been sitting all day or leaning forward, this one’s worth a shot.
Ok, maybe you were expecting something more exciting, but if spinal movement causes even slight pain, it’s the way to go. If you’re penetrating, hands can be used as support, and you can either kneel on your knees or lie on your partner. For the receiver, it’s a delicious relief if you put your knees up, drawn in towards the chest, and place a rolled towel under the lower back.
Sitting on the Lap
This sex position can take a sensual lap dance to the next level. By sitting on your partner’s lap, either with pillows on the bed or in a chair, you get more control over the position of your back. Sitting on a chair helps the partner on top by minimizing flexion and stabilizing those back muscles which tend to spasm.
Oral isn’t the most comfortable if you have a bad back. It can be tough to keep your spine straight during this (very tempting to arch) but by using a straight-backed chair, you can actually align your spine against it and easily reposition if needed. If your back pain is due to sitting all day, consider going into a doggy sex position and letting your partner perform oral from behind.
Besides these sex positions, we have some additional tips if you suffer from bad back pain but still want to play:
1. Move with hips and knees instead of initiating with the spine.
2. Use pillows and rolled towels liberally for added support. Experiment with using them under the hips, back, tailbone, or neck.
3. If you can afford it, invest in some intimate furniture which can help reduce pressure. Our favorite line is by Liberator, who offers everything from Kama Sutra inspired chaises to wedge and ramp combos that increase the intensity and reduce pain.
4. Be honest with your partner! If you just try to power through to impress the other person, you’ll end up doubled over in pain. Communication is sexy – take advantage of it.
How to Deal With Back Pain After Sex
1. After your session, take a bath with Epsom salts and lavender essential oil. Both of these relax muscles and prime you for a night of restful sleep.
2. Utilize CBD or an OTC pain med of your choice.
3. Ask your partner to follow up that orgasm with a massage on the tender spots. Is there anything better?